The Present is a Shitty Gift

"Yesterday is history" and there's no changing that.
"Tomorrow is a mystery," unless you're a fortuneteller.

"But today is a gift." Is today a gift? Did you wake up and say, "Thank you clouds for raining! I'm so happy to be alive. I have 3 papers due tomorrow but it's pitcher night tonight! Life is beautiful!"

The present is a shitty gift. Return it.
Don't have the receipt? Sell it on Amazon.

Seriously though, the present sucks. You're in college, trudging through papers, exams, and professors that won't answer their email. The weather can't make up it's mind on what season it is. Your boyfriend calls you fat, and when you confront him, he says you're oppressing him.

So don't tell me that today is a gift, bathroom graffiti. Tell me more about tomorrow's mystery, and turn me into Nancy Drew so I can solve it.

Flower Power: Part II

"If you love a flower, don't pick it or it will die.
Love is about appreciation, not possession!"

If love is not about possession, then why do those stupid candy hearts say, "Be mine"? Why do you say, "This is MY boyfriend"? Is your significant other not yours? Or is he/she?

And what if you don't pick the flower, but grow it in a pot inside your home? You still possess it. And you probably appreciate it. After all, it is turning your worthless, poisonous, exhaled gasses into something useful.

All flowers are beautiful when they first bloom. But all flowers are going to die, regardless of whether or not you pick them. Would you rather them die outside from the heartless winter, or inside, snuggled safely inside a vase?

But this graffitier probably is an expert. So, if you love someone, don't buy them a bouquet of roses. Just buy them a rose bush. Because I'm sure your lover wants to deal with watering a thorny little bitch plant everyday.