Promise Me

This post is a bit toned down on the sass. Sorry in advanced.

As finals' week is upon us, we have to remember that sometimes life is going to suck. You're going to feel like you're drowning. The waves of homework and exams and projects will overwhelm you. But don't just struggle through them; don't simply tread water. Remember how much you love what you do. For me, it's writing. I'm a senior writing major about to graduate, and I have three major papers due in the next few days, each ranging from 10 to 30 pages.

And I hate it. I don't want to write, which is stupid, because I love writing. I need to remember my love for writing when I want to set my keyboard on fire. Is it okay to be overwhelmed? Of course. But I shouldn't lose my passion for writing because of a few big assignments. And I shouldn't lose my love of life just because of finals, stress, and drama.

If you don't love what you do, I strongly advise you to find something that you do. Otherwise you won't have a reason to keep your head above the waves. And sometimes, it's hard to not give in and just sink.

That was depressing. Check out this deleted scene from Lilo and Stitch.  

We Didn't Build Empires

Ignoring the comma splice, let's see what this graffiti teaches us (besides a blatant disregard for grammar). 

"We didn't build empires on the fear that they will fall, we built them on the fact that we will conquer and strive."

I don't know what "empires" you've been building, but I simply don't have the time, motivation, or construction materials to do so. And empires fall, even great ones. Look at Rome.

But this graffiti says that we built them with the belief that they will conquer and strive. This seems pretty aggressive. Why conquer and strive when you can contour and jive? Let's be happy and make friends (I'm looking at you, Caesar).

Empires were meant to rise and fall. Someone will always swoop in to take over someone else's stupidity. It's the circle of life. 

Source of Inspiration: Design

Although my blog is special in its own way, it has a standard design. Blogger doesn't offer many design options, and the templates are all basically the same. The middle area is for the content. The left and right panels can be used for widgets and archives. 

The biggest complaint that I have with my design is the lack of a horizontal menu. Although this blog doesn't require one for the content, it would be nice to have a site map including home, about, contact, and whatever else I want.

This is what I think would be a better design template for this blog.

 

It has the horizontal site map, along with the main content and side panel. Each blog entry, with its corresponding picture, could be in the main section. That way, you could see multiple graffiti pictures at once, rather than having to scroll through all of them. It would let the user choose what they wanted to view. 

In the right panel, I might use the categories instead of the archive. The graffiti that I find could easily be broken down into categories: inspirational, song lyrics, poetry, conversations, R-rated, etc. This would also be more user friendly, allowing the user to pick and choose what they want to see. I could always add the archive under that, or put it in the horizontal site map at the top. While Blogger is good and simple, it could easily be better.

Brave and Messy

This graffiti informs me that I am not a mess, but that I am brave for trying. The exclamation mark and the heart really sells it. I don't know messiness and bravery are mutually exclusive, but I'll try to understand.

Maybe I'm not a mess. Maybe finals are in a week and I'm totally prepared. Maybe I don't have a 30 page paper due tomorrow night. Maybe my ex didn't randomly visit my aunt. Maybe I do something other than take pictures of useless words in the bathroom.

And indeed, maybe I am brave for trying. Trying to figure out the minimum hours of sleep that I can live on for these last two weeks before graduation. Trying to calculate how much caffeine is an overdose. Trying to write papers and study for exams that I don't care about. Trying to care that I am a mess.

Don't lie to me, motivational graffiti. I'm not brave. I'm not even trying.

Source of Inspiration: Tiles

Choosing the background for this blog was probably the most time-consuming choice I made for this design. Originally, I chose one that look like teenage drawings on lined paper, because they're most often thought of as the vandals that commit this artistic crime. But it looked trashy, cluttered, and childish.

And then I thought about bathroom tiles. Most often, they're square, but sometimes they're shaped more intricately. I attempted to find a background that had black and white tiles, like the stereotypical bathroom floor, but didn't find anything that looked good. Eventually, I found the current background of gray squares and rectangular shapes, and stuck with it.

http://homegoid.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/awesome-grey-dark-brown-wood-luxury-design-bathroom-ideas-grey-flooring-cheramic-cabinet-wood-storage-interior-at-house-with-bathroom-tile-ideas-plus-floor-tile-design-ideas.jpg

Source of Inspiration: White Paint

Most bathroom graffiti is done in black Sharpie, although occasionally you'll find a variety of colorful ink, usually purple, red, or blue. This graffiti, however, is in what appears to be white paint (seriously who brings white paint to a bathroom just to write some poetry?).

The white font is different than the usual dark-colored graffiti, which is why I decided to use light colors for my font colors in this blog. I made the title white so that it stands out against the dark gray background, just like this graffiti. I also use light blue colors for the other fonts, because it also stands out and it adds color.

This poetry is also beautiful. You can check out more of Rupi Kaur's stuff here.

Source of Inspiration: Put Down Your Phone

 

I don't know why someone would write this in a bathroom stall. There's a time and a place for disconnecting from technology and joining the world, but that time is not when your pants are around your ankles. 

But I decided to heed this advice in this stall. I kept my phone in my pocket. I looked around. And I did...something.

And you know what I found? I found that most bathroom stalls are grey and dull. So I used those neutral colors in my blog. The background is grey, just like the bathroom stalls. There are a few other colors in my template: blue and white and black, which are usually the colors of the graffiti. I wanted the blog to resemble the place where you shit, without it looking shitty. Thank you public bathrooms for continuing to be a source of inspiration to me.

Source of Inspiration: Knives and Words

When I first made this blog, I wasn't sure what type of font to use. After looking at a lot of bathroom graffiti, I knew that I wanted something that looked like Sharpie writing, since so much of the graffiti was done with it. The title, "The Writing on the Wall" is a font called Permanent Marker, which is perfect for this blog. However, I wanted my text to be readable, so I use Arial for the rest of the blog.

This particular graffiti was a response to someone else who wrote something about using kindness to get their own way; it has since been scrubbed off of the stall. The reply, "knives are more efficient" remains. And even that was edited to "words are more efficient." That's what happens when English majors graffiti. Now, I see how knives are efficient in an obvious way; so did Caesar. But it was the words that he spoke that got him killed. He was kind of an ass, and what he said really pissed off a lot of people. So sorry English majors, but knives win.

Drop It Low

"You wouldn't have to drop it low if you raised your standards."

Ok, first of all, the "it" in this is pretty ambiguous. It could be anything: the bass, the hook of your fishing pole, the TV volume, a penny in a wishing well, your pants, etc.

Of course, "it" refers to the dance move that involves a girl shaking her ass all the way down to the floor; it really accentuates her personality.

This graffiti seems to think that because a girl dances, albeit sexually, she doesn't have standards. It implies that she uses her body to guys, and that she should raise her standards. No, the boys shouldn't raise their standards, because how could they possibly resist that ass? Boys will be boys, after all. And apparently, all men are boys.

Or maybe, dropping it low is just a dance move, and people need to stop judging so much.

Let's Talk About that Sunrise

To fully appreciate this lovely graffiti, please listen to this as you read.

"For as long as they were lovers, the sun still blushed every time he kissed the sea."
So, the sun is doing the nasty with the sea. I guess that's why they call it a sunrise.

"I know how he must feel."
Yes, I too constantly identify myself with yellow dwarf stars.

"To love something so wild, so beautiful, so free."
The sea is beautiful, and it does contain wildlife, but I don't know if it's necessarily "free." It's confined to its shores, only breaking out in special weather circumstances, and consequently pissing off the surrounding area who don't appreciate flooding.

I Want to Apologize

"I want to apologize to all the women I have called pretty..."
Mostly because once I call one girl pretty, the rest get jealous as shit if I don't compliment them too. Don't believe me? Pick one girl in a group to compliment, and watch all the others turn into whiny little bitches.

"...before I've called them intelligent or brave."
I only did it because you're neither.

"I am sorry I made it sound as though something as simple as what you're born with is the most you have to be proud of..."
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline. Maybe nobody cares.

"...when your spirit has crushed mountains."
You are the cause of erosion. Congrats.

"From now on I will say things like, you are resilient..."
Are you swooning yet?

"...or, you are extraordinary."
For a list of compliments that don't suck, click here.

"Not because I don't think you're pretty."
I mean, I don't, but whatevs.

"But because you are so much more than that."
You're also smelly and socially awkward.

If this poem has touched you inappropriately, check out Rupi Kaur's other works here.

Sandcastles

"All my sandcastles fall like the ashes of cigarettes, and every wave drags me to sea."

First of all, how many sandcastles do you own? Are you a sand-prince/princess? Do you lead your beach kingdom with wisdom and grace? Did you rely on child labor to build your multiple castles? If your sandcastles are falling, maybe you should get real workers and actually pay them a fair, livable wage.

Otherwise, a wave will drag you out to sea. Maybe it's the third wave of feminism, dragging you out of your castle to join the sea of people fighting for gender equality. Maybe it's just salt water that desperately wishes to cradle you. Or maybe you shouldn't attempt to build a sandcastle during a hurricane, and you won't be dragged away by liquid.

These are also lyrics by Mayday Parade. Check out the song here. 

For some cool sandcastles/sand-art, click here. 

Pretty

"Do not try to be pretty." If we look at this as a binary system, then this means that you should try to be ugly. Too bad Halloween is only once a year.

"You weren't meant to be pretty." Because, you know, you're ugly.

"You were meant to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky."

Ok, hold on. This is promoting both arsonary and vandalism, the latter which the graffitier committed by writing this on the bathroom stall. And graffiti the sky? With what? Sky writing?

So don't be pretty. Be a criminal. Because the two are clearly mutually exclusive.

Check out some beautiful baddies here.

The Present is a Shitty Gift

"Yesterday is history" and there's no changing that.
"Tomorrow is a mystery," unless you're a fortuneteller.

"But today is a gift." Is today a gift? Did you wake up and say, "Thank you clouds for raining! I'm so happy to be alive. I have 3 papers due tomorrow but it's pitcher night tonight! Life is beautiful!"

The present is a shitty gift. Return it.
Don't have the receipt? Sell it on Amazon.

Seriously though, the present sucks. You're in college, trudging through papers, exams, and professors that won't answer their email. The weather can't make up it's mind on what season it is. Your boyfriend calls you fat, and when you confront him, he says you're oppressing him.

So don't tell me that today is a gift, bathroom graffiti. Tell me more about tomorrow's mystery, and turn me into Nancy Drew so I can solve it.

Flower Power: Part II

"If you love a flower, don't pick it or it will die.
Love is about appreciation, not possession!"

If love is not about possession, then why do those stupid candy hearts say, "Be mine"? Why do you say, "This is MY boyfriend"? Is your significant other not yours? Or is he/she?

And what if you don't pick the flower, but grow it in a pot inside your home? You still possess it. And you probably appreciate it. After all, it is turning your worthless, poisonous, exhaled gasses into something useful.

All flowers are beautiful when they first bloom. But all flowers are going to die, regardless of whether or not you pick them. Would you rather them die outside from the heartless winter, or inside, snuggled safely inside a vase?

But this graffitier probably is an expert. So, if you love someone, don't buy them a bouquet of roses. Just buy them a rose bush. Because I'm sure your lover wants to deal with watering a thorny little bitch plant everyday.

UniTato

All behold the wonders of the UniTato, the mythical horned potato. Part unicorn, part potato, she does not know whether she is a herbivore or a starch. Closely related to Nyan Cat, she bounces through the sky, shooting rainbows and tater tots out of her bumhole. 

UniTato Facts

• The UniTato, although a mammal, is born from the earth.
• A UniTato has terrible vision and constantly bumps into things. This is only a problem in the air when its horn collides with hot air balloons.
• The UniTato can grow anywhere between 6 and 10 feet in height and weigh up to 2,500 lbs.
• When angry, the UniTato still looks like a bumbling idiot.
• The UniTato's main diet is candy and sunshine.
• The UniTato's feet are useless and only used for defensive flailing.
• UniTatos hate Cher.

Legend says that if you sing the Veggie Tales' theme song backwards to a UniTato, it turns into rainbow french fries. Eating the fries causes Polio.

Atheist Advice

Stall conversations are the best. People just give the most supportive advice to their fellow bathroom-users.

The text on this is difficult to decipher, but says, "The devil and God are raging inside me." Symbolically, this means that the writer is struggling with right and wrong. Maybe they felt guilty for graffiting the bathroom, and wanted to confess their delinquency.

Somebody else replied, "Quit being Christian then," because to believe in God and the devil is pretty Christian. I guess the atheist thinks that if you're not religious, you won't have any moral obligations, which paints atheists in a pretty crappy light.

Assuming that one is Christian and one is an Atheist, we see that they both drew on the bathroom wall. So they both suck.

"The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me" is also the album by Brand New. Check it out here.

Flower Power: Part I

"She sprouted love like flowers."
This sounds pretty serious. She should probably go see a doctor.

"Grew a garden in her mind."
She should consult a neurologist.

"So even on the darkest days, through her smile the sun still shined."
Now she needs a dentist? If the sun is inside of her face, that garden's a lost cause.

Flowers are okay, I guess. But what if she sprouted carrots or potatoes? Then she could feed the hungry and make them smile. That seems like a better use of her mind's garden. Flowers and smiles might be pretty, but they're useless if you're starving.

Adventure at Every Corner

This graffiti almost went unnoticed. It's on the back corner of the stall, so you can't see it while you're sitting down. And you don't really look for graffiti there.

"Adventure is out there." Apparently, the graffitier felt trapped in her stall and wanted to do something reckless. She wanted to climb a mountain, but could only find a commode. And what do people who climb mountains do? They stake their territory with a flag. Not having a flag available, she wrote the only sentence that could sum up her travels.

Indeed, adventure lies outside the walls of the bathroom. Most things in life are outside of the bathroom. Outside of these confining stalls, there is life, love, and Channing Tatum.

Now, like all of these, adventure won't just come to you. So get out of the bathroom. Go find an adventure. Go find a mountain as high as your student debt to climb. Don't like exercise? Get Channing Tatum to carry you. That would be a nice adventure.

Who Brings a Paintbrush to a Bathroom?

Poetry is basically dead in this world; men no longer write sonnets to woo women. So it seems that women now write their own poetry, and they do it to show their displeasure at the world. What better place to do this than the bathroom stall?

The women's bathroom in the Spotts and World Cultures building of Slippery Rock University is filled with motivational graffiti. This piece was written in what seems to be white paint, which begs the question who the heck lugs a can of paint to campus?

This particular poem points out how society judges women for their bodies. Is she thin enough? Are her boobs big enough? Does she have a nice ass?

It doesn't matter.
Her value can't be measured with tangible tools.

This poem seems to be directed at men, but is located in a women's restroom, which seems odd to me. The graffitier might be brave enough to carry a can of paint to college, but she doesn't have the balls to enter the men's restroom.

About This Blog

Bathroom graffiti is fascinating. It's like they're modern-day cave drawings. I'll be posting pictures of the graffiti I encounter in my life and analyzing their deeper meanings. Because let's face it, nothing's deeper than the shit that people write while they're shitting.